Dating After Divorce

Divorce is not usually something in your plans when you say your wedding vows at the altar. As much as you’ve never imagined dating in midlife, here you are, doing both – 45 and single again (happily it has to be said) and wondering where to start over with a new life. It doesn’t take long before you decide that you want to get back into the dating pool, even though it is likely to feel weird and uncomfortable to begin with.

You’ll have a lot of fun, experience both highs and lows, there is plenty of both laughter and tears.

If this is where you find yourself right now here’s some advice about dating after divorce – things others have come to realize and things that are recommended if you’re feeling unsure or even terrified.

1. Make sure you’ve let go of your past relationship – You really don’t want to be taking a whole load of baggage into a new one.  It is highly urged that you to deal with any past grievances and resentments well before you’re signing up to dating sites – beginning with a clean slate will make everything so much more enjoyable.
2. Have a clear idea of what you want from online dating – Are you looking for a new partner or for someone to go on occasional dates with? Make this clear in your profile. If you’re looking for long-term commitment, there’s no point in falling for someone who’s looking for a quick fling. It can only end in tears… yours.
3. Be truthful – Sorry if this is a tough one for those in midlife who appreciate that age is a big thing. Believe me, it’s hard to go back from lying about your age or showing that you’ve got a full head of hair in a profile picture when reality is very different.
4. Know your values – The things that are really important to you in life should be reflected in your relationships. This isn’t about a long shopping list of requirements but it’s worth getting some sense of what you hold dear.
5. Write a great online profile – Spend time writing a great profile that stands out from the crowd, with as few clichés as possible. Be different and don’t be shy. So many profiles are bland and boring. And whilst we’re talking about profiles, get yourself some striking photographs they do make such a huge difference.
6. Check your state of mind – Make sure you’re in the right frame of mind before you head to dating websites. If you have a heavy and disillusioned heart with negative inner dialogue, it’s not the right time to be looking for a mate.
7. Be open-minded – you never know who you might meet if you can finally avoid looking for or dating what you believe to be ‘your type’. Dare to step out of your comfort zone.

Last but not least, remember to enjoy yourself, have fun and lighten up. You’ll meet some amazing people.